Please just tell me why I’m here.

Every day, if you are a living, breathing person, you wake up and you do something first.  For some people, rolling over and kissing your significant other is the first move. I can’t relate to this, but whatever, good for them. For others, they grab their phone and check social media. If you’re anything like my mom, you wake up and run to the restroom because you decided to have four kids, a small bladder and one bathroom in your house. I mean, even if you wake up and you think to yourself, “Wow, I am not getting out of bed today. I am taking a break from being a person,” you just did something first. You made a choice.

For me, every morning, I get up, grab my laptop off my nightstand, (sideways night cart, actually. I bought one of those IKEA build-it-yourself carts that came in a box and I’m about 77% sure I didn’t do it right, as it is definitely slanted AF.) I peer my crusty eyes over http://www.congress.gov and I look at what Congress has introduced to the house that morning.

Pouring over what a bunch of bureaucrats worked on all night is my Facebook. Some people love commenting under their second cousin’s third dog’s previous owner’s status, but man, I love the smell of good, old-fashioned house resolutions in the morning.

To be fair, I’m kind of a square when it comes to government. I love it. I love the process, policy-making and our role we get to play in it. In fact, here is a picture of me voting for the first time ever in the primaries for Indiana in the past election. I even made the global Snapchat story for voting in the primaries.

Actually a lot of people tried to screenshot that and I wouldn’t be surprised if someone tries to steal my identity someday. Also, don’t let the button down fool you, I had to work. Here’s how I showed up to the polls on Election Day this past cycle.

I feel that in a time where “fake news” is abundant and everyone has their two cents, it’s important to go straight to the source. Scourging through new legislature proposals is almost like dumpster diving behind Sephora. Yeah, there’s a lot of unusable garbage in there, like old tissues and empty spray bottles, but the more you dig, the better your chances are at finding the gold mines, like a Chi straightener with an expired warranty or a busted Naked palette.

Reading through obtuse, legal jargon and addendums referencing me to other addendums is a lot of work for something that is might be affecting my daily life someday. But reading a proposed bill in its entirety and deciphering it into just plain language is something I do for myself every day to feel more in the loop. So then I thought, “Wait, oh my god, hey, why not do it for everyone else?”

Hi, my name is Rachel Lehman and I will be your online tour guide through the United States legislative system. Unlike most in-depth and detailed explanations of future law and Senate proposals, this tour will omit all nausea and vomiting. If you experience nausea, vomiting, blurred vision or vertigo, please contact your physician. You might have a concussion or something, I don’t know. But I know I didn’t do it, so good luck.

I’m not sponsored by anyone, I’m not in a private interest group, and you don’t see me on CNN, right? So, please, allow me to give you the facts, sources, and readability no one seems to be giving you. You deserve it.

Oh, and congratulations, by the way. You clicked on the link, you made it to my blog. You came ready to read and you’re almost interested. I’m proud of you. Give yourself a pat on the back. Gold stars all around. Do it again next week and we’ll tackle what Congress has cookin’.

TTYL,

Rachel Lehman